You ever have one of those nights where you are drinking (heavily) and feeling absolutely wonderful, and you just want to share that feeling with everyone in your cell phone no matter what time it is or who they are? It’s called “drunk dialing”. Drunk dialing can be either a source of amusement or a total annoyance for those involved, depending on their relationship with the drunk involved.
So I have been known to drunk dial on occassion, and last Friday was no exception. Unfortunately, I did not remember many of those messages… that is, until I got a call from an ex-girlfriend the next day. Below is what we call “an uncomfortable conversation”:
Ex: Hey, how are you doing? How have you been?
Computard: Who the hell is this? (I had an idea of who it was, I just hoped I was wrong)
Ex: You know who it is. You sent me a text the other night?
Computard: (Shit! I knew it!)Oh, hey! I’m doing fantastic. How have you been? (Like I care)
Ex: I’m doing great. I was totally surprised to hear from you.
Computard: Yeah, no kidding (not as surprised as me). Hey, do you know what a drunk dial is?
Ex: Um… I don’t think so.
Computard: Yeah, I guessed that. Anyways, I think I left the oven on at work so I gotta run (possibly worst excuse ever)
Ex: Um, okay… I was just like, seeing if you wanted to hang out. (sweet Jesus, the oven thing worked?!)
Computard: Uh, yeah (rustling papers for static sound on phone). I’ll have to get back to you. You’re breaking up. I think the coffee maker is on too.
Ex: Hello? Okay, well like call me back when you get a sec.
Computard: (Don’t hold your breath, sugar) Hello? Okay. I’ll drunk dial you some other time. Damn those sake bombers!
Ex: What?
(click)
So I left it at that. I had absolutely no intention of calling her back. Ever. She doesn’t know what a drunk dial is and actually bought the “I left the oven on at work” story – that should give you an idea of what I was dealing with here and why it never worked out.
But it didn’t end there! A few nights later I got another phone call from her. I didn’t answer – not because I saw who it was, but because it was 2 o’clock in the morning! On a Wednesday! So she left a voicemail:
“Hey, it’s me just callin’ to say what’s up and see what you’re up to. (It’s 2 A.M.! What do you think I’m doing? Making breakfast?!) Aaaaaaanyways, we should hang out some time soon. I kinda want to seeeeeeee you (whoa, creepy). Call me back as soon as you get this, okay? Bye.”
Incredible. I was absolutely speechless. So now coes the time to decide what to do: 1) Ignore her calls and hope she takes a hint and gives up, 2) Hit it once more for old time’s sake and deal with the consequences later, or 3) Call her back and tell her to go to hell.
Hmmm…..
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