“Hey, I need you to upload this MPEG to our FTP site, then code this description into HTML and link it to this PDF”.

Huh?

This is what a typical day at work is like for me. This is why I preach to everyone young person I come across to learn whatever they can about computers and how they work.

Anyways, I am learning more and more each day, and thankfully the people I work with/for are patient with me. I have begun to learn the intricacies of SEO, or Search Engine Optimization. For those of you who are “not in the know”, that means making my website show up on Google before yours. There are actually people whose jobs are almost exclusively tied to this sort of internet chess game. Amazing.

I think the hardest part of my job is being the boss of people who know more about this stuff then I do. Granted, they lack the people skills and management experience that I have, and are complete dorks, but it is a complete pain in the arse to have the “minions” show me how to do something. It goes something like this:

Me: “Hey, can you please show me how to embed this video into this web page?” (note how I said “please”)

Nameless geek: “Hee hee… you don’t know how to do that yet?” (that little bastard…)

Me: “Look Opey, I don’t have time or patience for your wisecracks, and while you were playing Dungeons & Dragons or ma$turbating to the Victoria’s Secret catalog, I was getting this thing I like to call ‘vagina’. So show me how to embed the video before I get angry and show you the true meaning of the word ‘owned’.”

Like I said, they lack my people skills…

Stay cool,

The Computard